How to Spot a Narcissist: Red Flags to Look Out For

Are you wondering if someone in your life is a narcissist, or curious about how to identify narcissistic traits? It can be confusing figuring out whether someone has narcissistic tendencies.

After all, everyone is capable of occasional narcissistic behavior—like bragging once in a while—and who doesn't want the occasional special treatment?

So it’s hard to know what actions and attitudes really constitute Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

It helps to look for the specific patterns that indicate NPD because understanding the signs gives you clarity on how best to protect yourself as well as be there for those who might need help overcoming their struggles with mental illness.

What is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

People with NPD have an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration from others, and lack empathy. They often engage in grandiose behaviors to draw attention to themselves and can be very manipulative in their relationships.

It’s important to be aware of the signs so you can identify when someone has these tendencies.

Common Signs of a Narcissist

1. They Have a Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance:

Narcissists often feel like they are better than everyone else and that their ideas, opinions, and beliefs should be listened to above all others.

A narcissist feels like they are high-status people. They have excessive admiration for themselves and display arrogant and haughty behaviors.

2. They Lack Empathy:

Narcissists struggle to understand the feelings of others and often focus on themselves over even those closest to them.

Example: A narcissist might act selfishly in relationships by not considering other’s opinions or feelings.

3. They Need Constant Admiration and Validation:

Narcissists need to be praised and admired by others in order to build up their inflated sense of self-worth.

4. They Lack Empathy:

Narcissists tend to have a hard time understanding the feelings of other people, so they rarely show empathy or concern for how someone else may be feeling.

5. They Take Advantage of Others:

Narcissists often display very manipulative behavior and will take advantage of people in order to get what they want. A lot of times they are more likely to be this way with family members and those they are most comfortable with.

6. They Have a Sense of Entitlement:

Narcissists believe they deserve special treatment and privileges that other people don’t have.

Narcissists may think that they should get what they want with little effort or regard for anyone else’s feelings.

7. They Are Very Self-Centered:

Narcissists are usually focused only on themselves and their own needs, with little or no concern for the needs of others. They are self absorbed and rarely put others first.

8. They Are Highly Competitive:

Narcissists often feel the need to be the best at everything they do, so they will go out of their way to compete with those around them in order to prove that they are superior.

9. They Are Incredibly Jealous:

Narcissists often experience feelings of jealousy when someone else has something that they want or when someone else is getting more attention than they are.

10. They Have Trouble Apologizing:

Narcissists have difficulty admitting when they are wrong, so they often won’t apologize even if they should. It's always someone else's fault.

11. They Are Controlling:

Most narcissists will try to control the people around them in order to get what they want and maintain their sense of superiority.

12. They Are Overly Sensitive to Criticism:

Narcissists can be easily hurt if someone disagrees with them or challenges them in any way. This is often accompanied by rage, defensiveness, and a need to retaliate even at the slightest criticism.

13. Their Relationships Are Often Intense But Short-Lived:

Narcissists tend to push intimate relationships away because their need for admiration cannot be satisfied through another person long-term.

It's common for narcissists to end relationships suddenly without explanation.

14. They Have Unreasonable Expectations:

People with NPD have unrealistic expectations of others and tend to be generally disappointed with the world, believing it cannot meet their standards due to their superior feeling and self image.

15. They Blame Others For Their Mistakes:

When a narcissist makes a mistake, they often don’t take full responsibility for it—instead, they blame someone else or the situation.

It is important to be aware of these signs in order to protect yourself from manipulative or exploitative relationships with a narcissistic individual.

It can be difficult to recognize these behaviors in someone you know, but being aware of the red flags can help you identify them early on and save you from possible pain and heartache down the road.

Different types of Narcissist

There are different types of narcissists, including the grandiose, vulnerable and malignant narcissist. Each type has its own set of characteristics and symptoms, but all exhibit narcissistic traits.

Grandiose narcissists - have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Vulnerable narcissists - often put on a façade to make themselves feel better about their insecurities and self-esteem.

Malignant narcissists - can be extremely manipulative and often lack remorse or empathy for others.

Can children be narcissists?

Yes, children can be narcissists. While the term is usually reserved for adults, children can also display many of the signs and symptoms of narcissistic behavior.

Some examples include displaying a strong sense of entitlement, bragging or displaying an exaggerated sense of superiority, being very competitive and wanting to always be the center of attention.

It’s important to note that not all children who display these behaviors are necessarily narcissists; however, it is important to recognize the signs so that you can help your child develop good relationships with others.

Dealing with a narcissist affects your mental health

Setting boundaries with a narcissist is essential in order to maintain your own mental health and safety. If things become too difficult, seeking professional help can be beneficial for managing the situation.

By being mindful of these common traits associated with narcissistic individuals and taking necessary precautions, you can protect yourself from their toxic behavior.

By arming yourself with knowledge about narcissism and learning how to recognize warning signs in someone you know, you can better prepare yourself for any challenging situations that may arise.

Additionally, understanding different types of narcissists can help you identify which type applies to the person in question and adjust your approach accordingly.

How to deal with a narcissistic boss

If you have a narcissistic boss, it can be difficult to navigate the situation. The best way to handle a narcissistic boss is by setting boundaries and standing your ground when necessary.

It may also help to ask for clarification of tasks or goals so that there are no misunderstandings. Additionally, find ways to demonstrate your value and worth in the workplace so that you don’t get taken advantage of.

Finally, if the situation becomes too overwhelming or stressful, consider seeking professional help from a therapist who can offer advice on how best to cope with the situation.

How does a narcissist act in a relationship?

People with NPD make their partners fell like they are always wrong or incompetent. Narcissists often cause the other person a great deal of emotional distress. Narcissists can be controlling and manipulative, often making their partners feel like they need to walk on eggshells around them.

They may also be jealous and possessive, expecting their partner to give them undivided attention and loyalty.

Narcissists may also resort to gaslighting techniques in order to control their partner’s behavior or perceptions of reality. It is difficult to develop trust with a narcissist because they put themselves first.

Overall, a narcissist in a relationship will act selfishly in order to maintain their sense of superiority and power. It is important to be aware of these behaviors and set boundaries in order to protect yourself from manipulation or exploitation.

If the situation becomes too overwhelming or you are being physically threatened, leave the situation and seek professional help. Resources like the national domestic violence hotline may be of help.

Do narcissists know they are narcissists?

It is difficult to say whether or not a narcissist is aware of their traits. Many may be unaware of their behavior, while others may be consciously manipulating and exploiting those around them for their own gain.

In any case, it’s important to remember that the only person who can truly diagnose someone else with narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorders is a trained mental health professional.

Therefore it’s best to seek treatment with a licensed therapist if you think that someone in your life may have this condition so that they can get proper treatment and help.

Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder Diagnosed?

Yes, narcissistic personality disorder is a diagnosable mental health condition according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

It's a mental health problem that usually starts in early adulthood and can affect family and love relationships.

Treatment typically includes cognitive behavioral therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy. There are often diagnostic and clinical challenges when dealing with a narcissist due to their lack of open mindness.

What causes narcissist personality disorder?

The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known, but it is thought to be a combination of genetic characteristics such as personality traits and environmental factors.

People with NPD often have an oversensitive ego that leads them to perceive criticism as a threat or attack on their self-worth. It’s also believed that childhood experiences may play a role in the development of the disorder.

What Are the Treatments for Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder typically involves a combination of psychotherapy and medication, depending on the severity of symptoms.

The main goal is to help the individual learn better ways of coping with stressful situations and to manage their emotions in healthier ways.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may be used to help them become aware of how their thinking affects their behavior and develop more adaptive thought patterns.

Medication can also be helpful, particularly antidepressants that are believed to reduce feelings of grandiosity and entitlement.

Healthy Ways to Communicate with Someone Who Has NPD

This type of person may have difficulty communicating with others in a healthy way. It is important to remember that narcissists are not bad people and there are ways to communicate effectively with them.

1. Remain respectful: When communicating with someone who has NPD, it is important to remain calm and composed. Do not use language or actions that might be interpreted as attacking or demeaning the individual.

2. Listen actively: Being an active listener can help ensure that you both understand each other’s perspectives on the issue at hand. Active listening also shows respect and encourages two-way communication.

3. Avoid personal criticism: While it might be tempting to critique how the person behaves, this will likely only make them defensive. Instead, focus on how their behavior affects you and others around them. Try not to shame narcissists, it will only make it more difficult to communicate with them.

4. Acknowledge boundaries: It is important to make sure the other person feels respected and safe in the conversation. Respect their right to privacy and ensure that your conversations remain appropriate for the situation at hand.

5. Offer solutions: If you can, try to provide helpful solutions or advice instead of just pointing out problems with the individual’s behavior or attitude. This will show that you are genuinely trying to help them and not just criticize them for their narcissism.

By following these tips, it is possible to effectively communicate with someone who has NPD without becoming embroiled in manipulative or exploitative relationships.

Many people with NPD are looking for a way to feel validated, so responding in an understanding, compassionate manner is key for successful communication. This may take some time and patience, but it will go a long way towards improving your relationship.

In conclusion

It's important to remember that most people have a narcissistic side and display some of the traits discussed here.

You should not immediately assume that someone is a narcissist just because of one or two red flags, as it could simply be an individual who is going through a hard time and needs extra attention.

On the other hand, if you come across someone who displays numerous red flags then it is probably best to step away from them and take some time for yourself.

Having a deep understanding of Narcissistic Personality Disorder can help you protect yourself from possible exploitation by a narcissist.

If your gut feeling tells you something is off about the person in question, listen to what your intuition has to say! Not only will this keep you safe, but it will also allow you to develop relationships with those who are truly worthy of your trust and respect.